


Asleep (Saiouma)

by ySoda (yrxole)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Explicit Language, Feels, I Tried, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by a the smiths song, M/M, Mild Gore, Not Beta Read, Overthinking, References to Depression, Sad, Sad Saihara Shuichi, Saihara Shuichi Overthinking, Saihara Shuichi-centric, Songfic, again I'm sorry, ft me pushing my problems onto shuichi, just read if you want to know I guess, oumasai, saiouma, the ending isn't exactly bad but I wouldn't call it a good ending either, trigger warning, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:40:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24629452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yrxole/pseuds/ySoda
Summary: If the detective had to be honest, he had no idea what he was fighting for.(trigger warning / I'm sorry for writing something like this again)
Relationships: Momota Kaito & Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 253





	Asleep (Saiouma)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: 
> 
> I'm not doing too well, but we been knew.  
> The story is kind of inspired by Asleep by The Smiths, I don't know much of their music but this song I kinda like I guess.  
> I feel bad for writing something like this again, but I'm still going to do it since it helps me take the frustration off a bit by living through Shuichi a bit I guess? Idk if that makes sense. I'm not trying to romanticize suicidal thoughts or anything of the sort, so I really hope it doesn't seem that way. I need a way to get things off my chest, and better that it be this than past ways.   
> Also, I didn't reread it, so sorry for extra grammar mistakes or whatever.
> 
> Trigger warnings: suicidal thoughts / actions, etc. 
> 
> Ouma is a bit out of character, so sorry for that as well. 
> 
> Constructive critisism is welcome, but please don't be too harsh on me.

* * *

_Don’t feel bad for me, I want you to know_ _  
_ _Deep in the cell of my heart I will feel so glad to go_

* * *

Shuichi Saihara wasn’t a strong person. 

Sure, his friends liked to tell him that he was. They wanted him to think he was the smart and desired detective he always hoped to become back when he was younger, until the moment arrived that he did some _actual_ detective work and decided that the angry and guilt filled moments in his life that he had to spend doing his job were perhaps not worth it. 

Shuichi wanted to be like Kaede more. He promised to her that he would do his best to get everyone out of the stupid killing game alive, and he couldn’t back down from his word now, but it was all a little too overwhelming. She had been the complete opposite of what he was; smart, understanding, positive, loved, needed, necessary. She could cheer everyone up when no one else could, she could make them hold their head up high and keep on going, and he promised her to try his best to follow her in this. But he simply couldn’t. Saihara wasn’t positive like his friend had been, his smile wasn’t infectious and he definitely didn’t know how to make the right choices like she had. Because Kaede understood. She knew what she was fighting for and she knew what the was risking. She could’ve gotten out of the killing game if she wanted to, leaving everyone behind to fix their own lives for themselves, but she hadn’t. She had stayed to help the others as much as she could in her last moments, and they admired her. Shuichi admired her. 

No matter how hard he would try, he wouldn’t be able to act like the new protagonist that everyone so desperately wanted him to be. No matter how many times Kaito would punch him in the face for not keeping his promise, no matter how many times Kokichi would jab at him for being sad all the time, no matter how many times Maki would tell him to man up and get the frown off his face, no matter how many times Kiibo asked him if he was alright since his monitor or whatever sensed that this seemed not to be the case, he couldn’t manage to keep up the act forever. Sure, he had acted selfishly in the past. He had eventually prioritised the lives of everyone else in the room over Kaede’s for example when he decided to uncover her truth, and it still ate away at his brain. He couldn’t tell the others this, since he was afraid of the answer. They would know that he was right in thinking this, but they wouldn’t dare to tell him. 

If the detective had to be honest, he had no idea what he was fighting for. Sure, for escaping this place, for being able to leave once and for all with the remaining students and be.. out there, he supposed. Because where did he have to go if this was over? Surely he wouldn’t be able to continue on working on cases if the dead faces of friends he judged and sent to their death would haunt them forever. His detective work forced him to suspect people and to break families apart, but now he had to burden the souls of those that he actually got acquainted with. Never before did he need to inspect a body of someone he considered a friend, and it _hurt,_ since he was expected to always be able to do so. 

Yeah, Kaito Momota called him his sidekick, and he honestly wished this was even remotely true. It would’ve made things a lot easier if the dude didn’t leave everything to Saihara to do, even though admitting that made him feel a bit weird. After all, Momota does care about his well being and he does care about those around him, and he as well is trying the best he can. But why is it _Shuichi_ that has to always be the reliable one? He gets trusted fully by everyone around him, and he simply doesn’t understand what he did to deserve this. Of course, trust was nice, he supposed, but not when that meant everything that went wrong tainted this and everything that was going on needed to be under his control in the end. 

Keeping the others motivated to move on and live together and find a way out together was a lot harder if the detective didn’t even know how to motivate himself. Even when there was no murder the days were draining and the nights were cold, making him feel completely alone. He felt like an empty shell that was supposed to stay up to keep everyone happy, but with no bones it wouldn’t take a long time for him to collapse and fold into the small piece of sadness he subconsciously knew he’d always been and always knew he’d end up like. And even if he could stand up straight, people were dying, and they kept on dying. There would be no stop, no matter how hard they cried and prayed and whined for it, the killing was going to continue until one ultimate was left and they were doomed to live with the guilt of betraying everyone else in the end. That one ultimate wouldn’t be Shuichi, that was something he was fairly sure of. 

At first his objective had been to get through as much as he could, and to move on to try to live for those around him that actually still had the hope to leave this horrifying place. Going through the class trials he took it upon himself to call the culprit out every single time, so it would be his burden to carry again, instead of the ones of a possible survivor. But the stress was a lot, and he couldn’t handle it, not anymore at least. Every single time he felt like he was going to collapse, truly, like his bones were going to be drained from his body until no life was left but an empty hulse of the detective’s useless body that no one would mourn for. Well, perhaps they would. Perhaps they would miss the fact that he stood up for them, that he thought for them, that he fought only for the sake of those around him. 

The thing was, no matter how hard Shuichi tried, he was never able to convince _himself_ of his act, so he wasn’t sure how he got to convince the others. He didn’t feel as selfless as he was trying to seem towards the others, because deep down, he knew that this was actually all for himself. He wanted himself to feel better by acting out of care for others instead of out of what he needed himself. He wanted the acceptance, he wanted the connections, and he wanted the love that friends could bring him, but it never came. He was seen as a detective, not as Shuichi Saihara, and very selfishly it hurt him. It made his skin itch to think about and it made his scalp hurt and it made him want to take off his face and show them what he was really like, but he couldn’t. He needed to keep this up a bit longer, just a little longer. 

Maybe the fact that those who he thought were his friends continued to change all the time also played on his mind as he sneaked into his ultimate lab long after the night time announcement had told him it was time to go to sleep. Kaito didn’t exactly seem like he wanted to go out to train anymore, and the fact that Saihara deep down wished he would made him feel even more selfish than he had before. Momota had his own troubles to deal with, he was obviously hiding something big from the detective and nosy that he was he wanted to know what exactly, but at the same time he didn’t want to know. Everyone he got close to turned out to have some deep dark past or secret that the bluenette didn’t want or need to deal with if he had to count himself, and he could honestly not care less about the astronaut’s secrets if it meant he wouldn’t need to worry about it either. But he did care, he did want to know, even if logically he tried not to. He had been lied to, lied to by those he actually trusted, so much. It hurt his brain to think about how many times he had decided not to judge someone for the strange aura that came from them, the strange energy he felt just during conversations, only to be proven right in the end. Perhaps Korekiyo’s trial was the worst, making him feel sick to the stomach. He should have known, obviously. He was a shit detective if he couldn’t even tell the fact that Shinguji was hiding some identity crisis under that face mask of his that had to do with his sister’s abuse. Hearing enough of the guy’s stories he could have deducted something like this long ago and stopped everything from happening, but he didn’t. 

Every single murder that occured felt personal to Shuichi, since he was the one that was trying his hardest to set everything straight again, although he could’ve prevented the happenings to begin with. If he was just a bit more like Kaede he could’ve simply motivated everyone _not_ to kill and to live out their peaceful lives here, but he wasn’t like her. People wouldn’t listen to him, unless it was during a murder case. He was only necessary when those he had grown to care about were harmed and wouldn’t be coming back. If he had to be honest, it hurt even more that this was the case than if he wouldn’t have been listened to at all. The detective, he wanted to get rid of it. He wanted to get rid of everything, if he could. 

Sometimes Shuichi had to admit that he was kind of scared of himself as well. If he wanted to, he could take advantage of the fact that everyone fully relied on him during the trials. As horrible as it sounded, he would love to be taken out just so these class trials were simply not his problem anymore. He would love to be able to step back, tell them to get their shit together for themselves, and simply not give a damn. And ungrateful he would call himself, and they would call him that too, since at least he had a moment to show his worth. Some of them were looked down upon every single second they breathed, like Kokichi Ouma for example, but _they still moved on, didn’t they?._ Shuichi was the coward, he was the emotional one, he was the wreck and he was the ungrateful asshole that would leave those in greatest need of him. 

Sometimes he even thought that perhaps this wasn’t who he was supposed to be born as. He couldn’t do this, obviously. He shouldn’t have been the one granted this talent, if he couldn’t even work with it without draining more of his soul from his body every single time. He was supposed to be someone that could be alone and enjoy this, that had something they cared about more than anything else and they could hold onto that, not this person that needed to pretend to care about things he didn’t. Every step he took, every decision he made, the pressure was just a lot to handle. 

Shuichi closed his eyes tightly as he tried to push away the thoughts for now when he reached the door that he was looking for, opening it and almost getting blinded by the light that was coming from inside. Shakingly, he put a hand in front of his eyes to shield his vision for the time being as he moved into the open space, blinking to get somewhat used to the brightness. A soft yawn escaped his lips, and he probably shouldn’t have done this as tired as he was, but decisions were made more reckless if his eyes felt like closing more than normally. 

The blue haired ultimate quite enjoyed sleep, actually. Whenever he could sleep, slipped into black unconsciousness where nothing mattered and nothing bothered him, he supposed that being asleep was one of his favorite ways to spend his time. He just hoped that once he was done here, the option to remain in that blissful state of having to do nothing and having no responsibilities altogether was permanent. He didn’t even need a Heaven, he didn’t need to become some spirit to haunt those that did him wrong, no. He wanted to feel like he was sleeping forever, no pain, no ideas, and no overthinking. 

He felt a shiver run down his spine as if he was being watched, but he ignored it as he took a step closer to the large cabinet of different types of poisons. He hadn’t taken the time yet to inspect all of them, but he knew at least ten percent to be types meant for killing. Others could probably lead to it as well, but if he could make it easy, that would be great. The cap on his head that he had promised himself to stay away from made him chuckle quietly without humor, reminding himself that what he was doing would possibly be the most stupid and irresponsible action to be done by him so far. Nothing could have been worse than this possibly, and that was kind of ironic now he thought about it. 

With a soft hum his fingers moved swiftly over the different labels as he inspected them, trying to keep his mind busy so he wouldn’t cower away from the option. He could’ve always chosen to kill someone else at first, but he’d rather die at his own hands than those of Monokuma. It wasn’t exactly like he had a death wish, not at all actually. He knew that deep down he was scared to be killed by one of his friends, to be betrayed. He didn’t want to become a sob story that once again someone had to pay for. Of course, it would have been easier if he didn’t need to take matters into his own hands, but he liked the control he would eventually have over his own situation. During the killing game, a moment of feeling in control was hard to find, and he decided to welcome it. 

‘Whoa Saihara-chan, you’re not trustworthy at all! Are you planning a murder?’, a childishly nagging voice spoke up behind him, one that he could recognize possibly anywhere. Kokichi Ouma. What was he doing up this late anyway? 

It at least made him stop dead in his tracks as he realised what it must have looked like, shaking his head softly to collect his thoughts. The fact that Kokichi had probably sneaked after him to see what he was up to this late in the evening was long forgotten as he decided not to look at him. There was no point in lying to Ouma, since he would definitely see right through him, but since there was no point in anything to him at the moment, what was he even stressing about. ‘Perhaps’, Shuichi replied shortly, as he again opened the glass door to continue looking through the cabinet. Cyanide. Bingo. Still, he stilled his movements before being able to actually grab the small bottle as he tried to process what he was doing. 

‘Alright then, don’t mind me!’, Kokichi chirped as he flopped down onto the chair that was in the room, one that reminded Saihara of ridiculously cliche detective films he had seen so far. The bluenette blinked, biting his lip as he turned his face towards the supreme leader that was sitting in the chair, legs crossed and hunched over as he watched Shuichi with interest. ‘Ouma, could you maybe… leave?’, the detective asked, not meaning to let it come out as polite of a question as he did, and he cringed a little as he heard the purple haired ultimate snort softly. ‘As if! I wanna see the breaking point of our precious detective up close!’, the boy grinned happily as he hopped up. ‘Besides, you and I know you won’t actually kill anyone. Not when I’m here, at least’. 

Saihara gulped, as he stepped back. He felt the bright purple eyes stare through him as if he knew every single thing about the detective, and it made the bluenette a bit self conscious to think about. ‘Well, that _was_ a lie, but turns out I was right!’, Ouma snapped at the boy as he almost spaced off a bit, and now his attention was back to where the trickster wanted it to be. 

‘Ouma. Leave’, Shuichi repeated, and although his voice was quivering a bit, he sounded stern and sure enough of himself. Thing was, he didn’t actually want Kokichi to leave, as bad as it may have been. Sure, he was the big bad guy according to everyone, but perhaps that’s why he needed him to stay here right now. He was the exact opposite of Saihara and for this the guy envied him, besides pitying him a bit, as well as being annoyed by him on the side. It was a strange combination of feelings and it had him think about the male more often than he would’ve liked to, just trying to figure out who exactly was the ultimate supreme leader. It was quite pathetic that he would desperately want the one that everyone around him despised to stay at his lowest moment, but sadly enough, it was true. 

‘Hmm… no, I don’t think I will’, the smaller boy said, his expression now unreadable, and it worried Shuichi that he may have been able to see right through him all along and knew right from the start what a pitiful excuse of a human the detective had always been and would always be. As Kokichi curiously took a step forward, Shuichi tried to step back more, and this made a small smirk form onto the trickster’s face, which was a bit inappropriate for the situation for as far as the detective could tell.   
As the boy dashed forward, instinctively the detective sped up as he ran backwards, until with a loud thud he realised he crashed into the cabinet that held the different types of poison. The clattering of glass onto the floor told him more than he needed to know, and in embarrassment and shock he also let go of the bottle that was in his hand as he tried to stop the damage from worsening more. His eyes were wide as horrid thoughts clouded his brain when he tried to close the glass door before anything else could fall out, and he felt the glass that cut his skin as a sharp pain when he did so, ignoring the liquids that could possibly seep into the wound as he hissed softly and stepped back. 

‘Oopsies!’, Ouma smiled innocently as he tilted his head a bit, watching the small mental breakdown that Shuichi seemed to be having at the fact that everything was broken now and he would have to clean it up. 

The smile made place for a small frown however as he noticed that Shuichi wasn’t stopping that soon. The bluenette’s eyes were still wide as he kneeled next to the bottle of cyanide and other types of poison that he had dropped, trying to save what he could save even though the bottles were obviously damaged and again cutting into his skin, which definitely couldn’t be good for him. He was shaking, and he was muttering things to himself that the trickster couldn’t make the words out of. He seemed paler than before and it looked like he was panicking a lot more than he let on. ‘Oh- great’, Kokichi muttered as he looked at the detective, before frantically making his eyes roam around the room as if the solution to his problem would randomly appear somewhere if he did. It wouldn’t of course, and now he would have to take care of the mess he made. 

Feeling tears spill his eyes, Shuichi placed a trembling hand in front of his mouth as one of his lasts chances of escape of his responsibilities and whatever else he was feeling too rushed to think about was crumbling and slipping away from him, right in front of his face, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. ‘ _N-no no no no_ ’, he whimpered as he tried to keep some of the glass up so it wouldn’t completely spill, but it was to no use. The presence of Ouma in the room was long forgotten as he felt different types of liquids stain his pants at the knees when he was hunched over, but he couldn’t really care at the moment. The bright lights only made his now forming headache worse, and he shook his head as if that would undo what had happened. 

He was so far into the moment that he almost didn’t feel it when Kokichi placed a hand onto his shoulder, but the soft squeeze that followed made him look up at the supreme leader, obviously more bewildered than he would’ve expected, since the blank expression that the purple haired ultimate put on faltered a bit. He seemed… nervous, almost. Shuichi was almost happy to see a bit of humanity in the other, which was again a thought that he mentally kicked himself for, and it definitely didn’t stop him from panicking. 

At this sight, Ouma’s gaze softened as he leaned down a bit to his level (he never had to do this to someone before, so that was new) and placed his hands on the shaking boy’s cheeks, forcing him to keep his gaze on the other. ‘Hey, Shuichi, look at me’, he mumbled, soothingly almost, and the detective found it hard not to listen to him when he put it like that. 

The soft thumbs of the boy were caressing the skin under their tips almost delicately, and although this made the waterworks act up even more, it did calm Shuichi a little. Ouma’s presence suddenly wasn’t as intimidating and annoying anymore; it was careful, maybe even a bit awkward. Obviously he wouldn’t be the best at cheering people up, but the fact that he was kind of seeming to try, proved Saihara’s earlier theory about him not being the actual bad guy, and he wasn’t sure how to think of that. 

‘They’re just some bottles alright? I don’t know what they mean to you, but I’m sure that Monokuma will add more once he finds out they’re gone..’, Kokichi said, trailing off as he realised that perhaps talking about the stuffed animal that forced them into this mess wasn’t the best thing to come up with when Shuichi was having some kind of mental breakdown. ‘I- uh, this is kind of humiliating, what kind of leader can’t give a fuckin’ pep talk’, the purple haired male cursed softly, stilling as he heard a small snort come from Saihara, although the crying hadn’t stopped yet. ‘Oh! That’s good! I think..’, he rambled, and the detective was surprised, thinking he would never see the day that the supreme leader would be rambling of all things. 

‘Just breathe with me, alright?’, Ouma told him as he as well sat down with him, getting a bit more comfortable after inspecting the detective for a little and seeing what did and what didn’t work. He carefully took the bluenette’s hands in his own, noticing the small wounds that were now on there, and he winced a little upon seeing them. ‘Oh- well, I guess it’s only fair’, he muttered, before looking through the room for something to clean the small cuts with. It reminded Shuichi of how he had helped the supreme leader during the strange knife game action, and for some reason the familiar interaction on his brain made him calm a little as well. 

As Ouma was cleaning the skin, Shuichi hissed softly, since it wasn’t the greatest sensation. He had calmed down more, luckily, but strangely enough still found himself obeying as Kokichi pulled onto his hands to make him stand up now and led him towards the chair. The purple haired ultimate sat down, and expectantly watched the detective. 

‘...What?’, Shuichi eventually asked as he awkwardly shifted his weight, and he felt his face redden a bit when he saw the leader pat his lap as if to tell him to take place there. ‘Wh-what?’, he repeated again, now a bit more squeaky, since he couldn’t believe why Kokichi would do something so embarrassing. 

Perhaps it was because of his strange mood and often switch in mood of the past couple of minutes, but he didn’t even struggle too much when Ouma actually pulled him onto his lap, even when he dramatically complained about the detective’s weight (which Shuichi knew wasn’t as bad as the dude was trying to make it seem). His arms were secured around the blue haired ultimate’s waist in a strangely affectionate way, something that made the aching feeling in the boy’s chest numb a little. 

This wasn’t what he was supposed to be feeling, of course. He was supposed to resent the touch of the person that made trials so hard for them, that everyone believed to be the absolute bad guy and that was obviously not a great influence on anyone. But the sweet touch of someone that cared, even if he probably only pretended to care, it was something that Shuichi longed for. He couldn’t help the feeling that made him want to curl up into his hold and spill everything, pretend for just a second that he was important simply for being Shuichi Saihara instead of being just a detective, but he managed to suppress that feeling a bit. After all, he was pretty sure that definitely to Ouma, he was simply a fun detective role to mess with during his mischief. Shuichi Saihara became The Dude That Sometimes Sees Through My Lies, and that was simply all there was to it. Maybe that even made him crave the careful touch and hold that Kokich had to offer at the moment even more. So he could just for a single moment act as if he indeed mattered to someone, simply because they wanted him to matter. 

‘So, who were you trying to kill?’, the question from the purple haired ultimate came out of the blue, making Saihara tense a little. He slightly hoped his shocked reaction would make the trickster back off, but when that wasn’t the case, Shuichi’s shoulders slumped a bit. His body was pulled backwards a bit almost as if it was Kokichi’s fault that he now was truly leaning into the hold, and if he could pretend it was, it was better than nothing. ‘I… don’t know’, Saihara decided on muttering, reaching to his head to pull his hat off, but realising it wasn’t there anymore. ‘...Shuichi, be honest with me’, Ouma mumbled, a little more careful than before, and the detective decided he may have liked his unpredictable lying version more than the serious Kokichi. 

‘It’s just…’, Shuichi started, blinking as he again felt tears form in his eyes, and he tried to get them to vanish. There was nothing he detested more than his ugly crying at moments that weren’t that big of a deal. ‘I wasn’t going to.. commit a murder’, he eventually confessed, not exactly lying but also not exactly telling the truth. ‘Liar’, Kokichi snapped, nudging him in the side. ‘I hate liars, you know that, shumai! Even a dingus like Momota would be able to notice you were up to something’, the trickster pointed out, making Shuichi frown a bit. 

‘What’s your deal with Kaito anyway?’, the detective asked, effectively changing the subject as he noticed the blank expression returning to Kokichi’s face. ‘Hmm? What deal? Momota and I are best friends, I don’t know if you noticed. I think he has a crush on me, don’t you think?’, he quipped as if it was nothing, making Saihara groan softly. ‘It’s not fair if I have to be honest but you can lie all you want’, he muttered, making Ouma smirk a bit as he wiggled the boy on his lap, making him sigh and roll his eyes at his childish behaviour. ‘No one said you couldn’t try to lie, mister detective. You’re just shit at it’. ‘Wow, thanks’, Shuichi snarled back, although the typical laugh that came from the trickster made his lips curl upwards a little bit. 

‘And here I thought this was _my_ interrogation for a change, tsk tsk!’, Kokichi tutted him, since he now started to catch onto the fact that the detective tried to change the subject. ‘I just don’t know how to explain it to you’, Shuichi mumbled in response, fumbling with his hands a bit awkwardly as he again felt tense and a bit uncomfortable at the fact that he had to open up about things like this of everything whilst Ouma himself never was honest about himself. ‘...Sometimes, things just become a bit too much’, the detective eventually decided to say, as he couldn’t look the boy whose lap he was sitting on in the eye anymore, wishing now that his hat wasn’t discarded somewhere on the floor of his lab. Even so, from the corner of his eyes he could still see the ‘o’ shape that became the boy’s mouth, now he realised what the guy was implying. 

Instead of saying anything, it was almost as if the supreme leader pulled Shuichi a little closer to himself, and it made the boy shiver a bit as he was aching to get the affection that he desired all this time. ‘Ko- I.. Kokichi, can I…’, he said, quieter than before, as he felt maybe even more unsure of himself now he had to deal with this than with talking about his inner troubles. There were no complains from the purple haired liar that he was sitting on, so he moved to sit a little more comfortable, his head resting on Ouma’s shoulder and feeling his goosebumps as he breathed into the skin of his neck that he was resting against. It almost made him a little proud of himself, which was strange. He couldn’t help the soft sniffle that again left him as Kokichi’s hand found his hair and stimulated his scalp gently, showing a caring side of the male he hadn’t been met with before this day. He had always been aware of the fact that Ouma had some sort of liking for him, even if it was probably just because of his detective abilities, but he hadn’t expected him to actually go soft on him. It was sweet, and perhaps it was just what he needed at the moment. A bit more satisfied than before, the blue haired ultimate let his eyes close softly, finding himself more calm than before when he had to be alone in his dark room. 

‘If you tell anyone this happened I’m murdering you myself’, Kokichi threatened after a while as he realised that he was acting way different than he wanted to in front of anyone, but there was no response. He was faintly aware of the softened breathing of the pretty boy in his arms, which made him smile involuntarily. Maybe he had truly stolen his heart. And now, seeing him calmly asleep, such a contrast to the obvious overthinking going on in his head all the time, he hoped he could steal those horrible ideas from him as well. He hoped they would get out of the killing game together, and that he would be able to wake up next to an unharmed and not dangered Shuichi Saihara for the rest of his life.   
  
Although, just making sure that he would be able to be this peacefully asleep without Kokichi in the picture would be enough to satisfy the supreme leader as well. 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: 
> 
> Hi, so, yeah.  
> Anyway, I have kind of a writersblock anyway cuz of certain circumstances, so if there's a sort of plot that you'd really like to see and you could pick between saiouma, komahina and soudam (or if you know a good fxf danganronpa ship that would be great too), you can comment it if you want to and I'll try to write it, unless it makes me really uncomfortable. 
> 
> Things that I'm definitely not willing to write:  
> -(implied) rape or sexual abuse  
> -Incest or junko x anyone  
> -Very toxic relationships 
> 
> So you can basically ask anything else if you'd want to, and if I for some reason am not willing to write a specific thing I would politely tell you so but I doubt it.


End file.
